Elements of Desire: Surprise

desire surprise
Elements of Desire: Surprise

For some of us in long term relationships, a common issue that tends to surface in a year or few of being together is monotony… Perhaps, a loss of desire, slightly cooler connection etc. All of these changes are usually a sign of a different chapter of the common book a couple writes together. Sign of a maturing relationship in which the New Relationship Energy (NRE) has run it’s course and is giving a way to a more balanced, mature, deeper and grounded connection.

Does this mean we absolutely cannot maintain a great level of electricity and sexual tension? In my books, this only means that it’s time to get more creative, intentional and playfully enthusiastic about various ways in which we can enhance the desire.


Remember the child-like joy that rises in your heart when you’re pleasantly surprised? The sensation you get may feel like an expansive breath you take in after days of shallow breathing, playful flatters in your stomach… Unpredictability shakes up our world. It resets the usual monotony, it heightens our senses, brings the electricity back in.

What could the surprise be? Something naughty, perhaps?

  • A sexy, dirty message to your partner – starting in the morning and texting little clues throughout the day on what exactly you’re planning to do to him/her later on
  • A tempting / flirty photo
  • Reservation to a favorite restaurant – as a complete surprise
  • Booking a dance/rock climbing session (just the two of you – no kids)
  • New lingerie – modeled on you… No lingerie under regular clothes? Just a little tease and hint at no lingerie in a public place with a little smirk mentioned casually in a lowered voice

Plan one surprise for your loved one and please let me know what you planned and how it went!

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