Jealousy – the Green-eyed monster
I have met some amazing people in life that have never felt a sense of jealousy. They always freely shared their loved ones, felt secure in themselves, confident in their relationships and very emotionally stable.
[Un]fortunately, I never was one of these lucky people! I remember the very first time my husband had a sexual experience… I showered him with tears for two weeks straight and kept following him around offering all sorts of sexual pleasures to imprint my energy back into his field 🙂 He still remembers that period as one of the most fulfilling ones when he had a mind blowing experience of not being able to stop orgasming for 15+ minutes lol
With time, self practice and right techniques I’ve learned to tame my emotional reactions. Recognize them in the moment as they happen, focus on self-care, ask for support and clearly communicate my needs. I also learned to channel the jealousy into arousal/excitement over what happened and compersion towards my partner (feeling happy that he had an awesome experience).
Emotions still get tricky at times, there’s no perfection in experiencing a human condition… My intention is to not emphasize the feelings of jealousy, but recognize the need in supporting others to be who they are. Of course, communication is the key. Respect. Kindness. Patience. One also needs to understand how to best get their needs met without being overly triggered, what relationship boundaries are and how to best support their partner.
The most important step towards emotional maturity here is also to recognize that the emotions are ours to own, heal and communicate in a non defensive manner.
Have you struggled with jealousy in your life? What works best for you when it comes to self soothing and undefended communications?
I share more of my experiences and hurdles on the road of exploring Polyamory in my first book Alice in PolyLand. www.tinyurl.com/y22pre2p Please support this project – an Inspirational guide on transformational sensual journey from shame & suppression to unsurpassed passion, pleasure & authenticity!
With your amazing help, we’re over 100% goal and fundraising for the next step in my journey – eLearning courses creation that will give you even more practical tips on brining more pleasure, authenticity and freedom into your lives.
P. S. Want to hear me talk about Polyamory and take part in open sharing and discussion? Join me on March 24th at Oasis Aqualounge for Polyamory workshop I’m teaching. Never been to a sex club? Please reach out to me for my exclusive Sex Club Tour offer (women and couples only).