Questions to ask lovers to best understand fantasies

Best Fantasies

Questions to ask your lover to better understand their fantasies.

I hear from so many of you that talking about sex may feel difficult and intimidating. I notice how liberating and free my clients feel when we dive into their fantasies, sexual preferences without experiencing judgments, shame or guilt. Below are a few ideas on which questions to ask to get to know your partner’s fantasies a bit better. When this conversation is approached with an open mind in a judgement free space, results are miraculous.

  1. What are your main sexual fantasies (i. e. submission, domination, cuckold)
  2. Please describe the way you and the other person (people) look and behave like as this fantasy is playing out (i. e. she’s wearing high leather boots, sleek black body suit, she’s seductive, strong and confident; he’s naked, on his knees – humiliated and subservient)
  3. What are some of the major turn-ons when it comes to how they call and touch you (I. e. some names to use on you (slut, bitch, whore); (rough touch, restraining your movement etc.))
  4. How do you feel when you indulge in this fantasy – what is it that you long to achieve, experience? (you want to let go and be fully controlled, humiliated, seen for who you really are inside and loved just as is)
  5. What are you embarrassed, worried about when you think about this idea?
  6. When this fantasy plays out – how would you like to be comforted and changed by this experience.

Please let me know if you dare to chat to your lover(s) about these 😉 Want more guidance? Schedule your free 20 minute session today:

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