Would you like to take control in the bedroom? (Excerpt from Alice in PolyLand)
Exude confidence paired up with inner strength? Embrace your inner Disciplinarian? Or would you like to submit to a strong Dominant partner?
When creating a Domination / Submission experience, please consider:
The kind of fantasy you’d like to play out
- Would you use an element of bondage? (verbal directions to prevent your partner from moving, handcuffs, a rope or a tie)
- Would you ask your submissive (sub) to service you? (Examples could include giving you pleasure, a massage, telling you compliments)
- Would you punish them if they were disobedient? If so, in what way?
Feel into the details of the scene
- Connect with your alter ego and her dominant personality. Feel into which three adjectives you would use to describe yourself. If you’re playing a submissive role — please consider which role you would play and how you would act.
- Your desires, hopes, dreams, and fears
- Your partner’s expectations, fears and goals
- The intersection of your interests and fantasies
Once you have more answers — create an action plan
- Prepare the space
- Get all of the needed accessories, toys and clothes
- Energetically align with the alter ego of your choice
Safety, boundaries and communication discussion
- Go over the safe words, Will, Won’t and Maybe lists
- Clearly communicate your hard and soft boundaries
- The above discussion would focus on experiences you’d like to have (i .e. sensation play, pain, words used etc.), definitely don’t want to experience (your hard limits) and potentially would like to try but could stop at any time things get overwhelming or uncomfortable
BDSM (Sensation Play, Power Exchange, Bondage)
- Feel into your preferences as they lay on the intersection of BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism)
- To find out more about your preferences, familiarize yourself with various options by getting books on the topic from a local sex store, coming out to kink parties or connecting to someone who can guide you through this labyrinth of human desires
Get my book Alice in Polyland at https://aliceinpolyland.com
Join upcoming in person October 29th Sex Club tour to watch / take part in kinky scenes: https://spiritsexlab.as.me/sexclubtour
Beautiful photo by @deckardphotographer
